My Help to Other First Timers

So, you're going to try out stand-up? Well, here are my little tips:

1. Bring (and play) an accordion. People sure love singing comedians.
2. Start every bit with, "What's the deal with..."
3. Take up a notebook and simply read off of it as fast as you can. Your reading teachers from the past will be giggling with mighty pride.
4. Dress like a clown. Face paint, big shoes, funny outfits and puffy noses make the world go round.
5. Stand in awe of the MC.
6. Hack someone else's jokes. So much pressure will be off of your shoulders. (Do you use limewire too?)
7. Find a jolly white man and have him sit in the front row and laugh at everything you say.
8. Do your whole bit as if you were a gay robot.

You can take these tips if you'd like. Keep in mind... I've only been on the stage 2 times. :P